This was my 40th attempt to write. It has been months, days and weeks since I could not write no matter what I do. I don’t know maybe because I’m just way to busy or too occupied at work, or maybe because I don’t always have net connection at home or maybe that I just lose my interest in writing, or maybe because I just run out of ideas to share with you.

I can’t write, I don’t want to write, I just want to stop writing.

I am full of excuses I guess, trying to convince myself it was not my fault that is why this blog is not updated. As much as possible, I don’t want to write much about my personal life, but I guess there is nothing much more interesting to me than my own personal life, and there is no more easier story to write rather than my own story. Who would care anyway? Who would care f I write my experiences here? Who would be interested? Who would be my site visitor?

I think I have lose the real essence of my blogging because I am becoming too much of a dreamer. I am aiming so high which is way behind my reach. I was expecting and setting high standards to my self but I am forgetting the passion that I should be giving all through out this blog. This is just ain’t me.

I’ts hard when you have stopped writing for such a long time, Your mind becomes stagnant, you don’t know how to begin, you thirst and could not catch a word and most of all you will be lost. Your minds become so cluttered that you just cant fit all the ideas that was ranging in your mind. -Sigh-

That was just the intro…

So where do I begin?

My self? How I am I?

To describe how am I living today, I could say, Nothing keeps me busy other than my work!

Months have been so fast that I just celebrated my Six Monthsary at work, I should have been happy but there is still a lock which in completes my happiness. By this time, I should have been a regular employee, but then my superior have not yet scheduled me for panel interview for regularization. It was kinda frustrating thinking about this but all I can do at the moment is to wait for the management’s advice. Plus a lot of surprises and Changes that are about to take place in the office that gives me worries at time, but then as I said earlier all I can do is to wait for the management’s advise, Whatever happens, for sure ill write it in here.

Family- Kim, my nice is growing really fast. She now can utter so many words like mama, papa, tatay, anne, office and so on.She is a witty kid, she can easily pickup things that we do tell her and she was really cute and charming. I could not wait till she can walk on her own. Dad is dating a new girl, I’m happy with it. I rather not talk about it, but we are planning to build our own house too..

Love life- Siva just makes me happy all through out, There were moments that I am truly down but he was always there as my back up when I just don’t know what to do. I guess I could consider him my lucky charm. The three years that we shared knowing each other really bind us together no matter how distant we are. No regrets at all that I chose him after all because I have already proven what he is ready to give and what he is willing to do for me.

Friends- Anna is already here in the Philippines for her vacation, but we have not yet talked whether we’ll meet or not, no clear plans yet but I also wish I could see her. I also heard that Kristine, my other best friend is already engaged with her longtime boyfriend and i’ll be hearing her wedding bells by 2014. I enjoyed hanging a lot with apple and janelle lately my office mates/ bffs. I was thinking of what birthday present could I give apple on her birthday.

Me- Hows me?

Mind cluttered as usual. No clear plans, still going on with where the current takes me, still wandering, and still figuring out what I really want and what really could really make me happy. Sometimes I’m getting mad at myself because of the inconsistencies and confusions in my mind.I still don’t have my life drive upto the moment, I still don’t know what to pursue, I am becoming stagnant day by day. I have been living in the same routine that I am becoming too attached with that routine and I might not cope up easily once when I have to encounter changed. Sometimes, I hate myself for being such a dreamer, living in the fantasies and dreams in my mind, sometimes I want to stop but I JUST CANT.

Stuffed nose go go go away.. cos It’s really hard to breath when you have stuffed nose. I just wished ill get better tomorrow.