One Saturday, one of my friend asked me, I was constantly checking your blog and it seems like you have stopped writing.
With a shoulder shrug, I just told my friend that I didn’t have had time to do so- but at the back of my mind, my answer was I didn’t stop writing. I did stop posting but I never stop writing.
There were points of our life that no matter how we wanted to share, we would like to keep it rather private. There were things that we wanted to do but could not be overly done. Series of times that we just wanted to pause, stop and think about it and asked ourselves is it all worthy?
Don’t be confused, I am still talking bout writing and passion. Over the days that I stop blogging, never did I stop writing. The pages of my notebooks would prove that my love for writing never faded, it was just that I am quite selfish on sharing my thoughts with the world.
Throughout times, I learnt and discover that not everything should be written out loud. That things can be also enjoyed by keeping it solace and private. This is the power of Journaling. Blogging and journaling are two different things. It would be like an introvert and extrovert thing. Journaling gives you a deeper understanding of yourself, your thoughts. It could be in any form that nobody can critique except your own. It is free flowing of thoughts. While blogging requires the understanding of your readers thoughts. It requires more sensitivity, creativity and passion to make one post stand out.
I bought myself one nice notebook of a price I usually don’t pay for a notebook. When I purchased that notebook I didn’t think twice. I want it, I want it for myself. I go pages and pages every day. Long notes and some short ones during busy times. I usually write my prayers, my gratitude to god, my daily rants and usually my unexpressed thoughts. I loved how going back to journalling helped me. It was like I was reintroduced with myself. I came to know the deeper side of myself. I well understand where my emotions are coming from. It made me aware of some important and little steps of my life either big or small. The best thing I love about what journalling did to me was I was able to handle my emotions very well.
When I am losing my temper I usually grab my notebook and write like never ending. I write words that are so loud in my head but my inner self- say should not be said verbally as it is considered rude. I write, write until there were no more words anymore. After, I realized that I am okay and it does not hurt me much. If I didn’t journal perhaps I could have picked up a fight, nor hurt someone out of anger with words that can hurt big time. It is really a big help.
The experience of going back to pen and paper is definitely good to wake up my inner self. It is a good start. It is a good way to live your life with. Like a maintenance medicine or exercise routine. It empowers my thinking. It keeps me connected to myself with no apprehension, fears, pretention, just me.