8 months ago.
It has been 8 months ago since I left She Writes empty. No updates, No everything. It’s 8 months of hiatus.
Today, I woke up feeling this spirit, feeling that urge, feeling that lust and the intensity I can’t resist- It whispers to my ears, Write, Write, Write. It goes on and on, till I submit myself sitting on my table and feeling how smooth my keyboard are with every stroke. The words just flow- It is not a forced one, I am not even being pressured to do so. I want it, I want this, I want to write today.
I think I finally have woken up again. Or maybe I feel like being myself again.
It was a short span of time, it was just like yesterday, but there were so many things which happened. 8 months. 8 months that I worked my butt out for that promotion. Yes, I have now been promoted as Operations Manager for the company I am working with. It was a blessing. I love it! I am adjusting how should I be right now. It was not easy as what I thought of. It gives me more responsibility, it allowed me to take decisions, Bigger ones. It’s a career achievement. It went out like how I planned and dream of. I look at myself now and pat my back with an appreciation, “Shelady, the break up was worthy, It made who you are right now, the hard work paid off”.
The break up. Yes the break up that I do not want to talk about. That feeling. That was most tragic. 8 months or so I died. I died and decided to live again. Zombie mode. Who would have thought. Until now, I still do no want to talk about it, because I have to protect him. I read somewhere in Pinterest, “Once an Aquarius cared for you, no matter what happens they will always will”.
I no longer think about it. I have moved on. I have accepted everything. I am even thankful that without him, I would not realize how strong I am, how good I am, how smart I am, how better I can be. So thank you to him, thank you for bringing the mess with me, for getting me broken, for letting me feel that feeling. You bring out the best in me.
8 months and I finally live again.
There are so many things to look forward and I committed to be the best that I can be from now onwards. It’s a long road, some detours, bumpy streets, long and winding hi ways. I might run out of gas as well. But I’ll get through my next destination. I will be. Because today, I decided to be that best that I can be.