She Writes

inspirations. transformations. life experiences.

Untitled- because I can’t think of a Perfect title. — November 7, 2011

Untitled- because I can’t think of a Perfect title.

If I have one greatest lesson learn in life, it is the thought that most people often remember the mistakes we commit and often forget our good deeds.

It is a fact I guess, a part of human nature which we can never erased, It is not just my mere observation but a reality of human attitude that we can never deny. You try to do good, few will take notice of it, You try to do wrong, everybody will go insane making their point count of what you did. People will scrutinized you even though you are at the point of regret, even though you are sorry of what happen, even if you already dropped your flag down declaring that they already won and you lose. They will still keep on bringing your past mistake relating to the other mistake you have done. It is like a scar, yes, a scar. A scar which is a product of a wound. Wound hurts but it mends, and when it mends it leaves a mark which we can never erase, a scar. And as long as the scar is there, it will always reminds us of the pain caused by the wound.

Talking bout scar, humans are fond of taking noticed of other scars. When they see one from you, they would say, “Oh what happen to that scar?”, though some asked about it out of concern they still remind us of the pain we got out of that scar. What’s bad is that when we answered them that we somehow learn from having that scar, they will just smile but instantly forget what we said yet they will never fail to forget that we bare that scar.

We can also relate it to a simple situation at home or in our everyday living. When at home for example, you rised up early in the morning, cook for everybody’s breakfast but because you didn’t know much about cooking, the sunny-side-up turned sunny-side-down, the fried rice turned salty, all resulting to everybody’s dismay. Instead of appreciating your effort, they would even blame you and say “you shouldn’t have cook if you dont know how to”. The same goes when your at work. It was just like yesterday when you are floating on a cloud nine for a job well done but just because you made a terrible mistake today, your good job yesterday was disregarded. Just because of a single mistake.

It is human nature, but is it a valid excuse? Or is it a human attitude that most people refuses to believe in?What people usually see are the negative sides of one another, thus the positive sides are taken forgranted.

No wonder, the word “Chance” was included in the human dictionary, the purpose is to remind us people that it is not wrong if we give another try after a mistake. We all have our chance to move on and pursue. To prove ourself and others that we can also be right, we can also do good even after a failure, that it will be unfair for us ìf we will be judged based on the past mistakes that we have done.

Let me just end this post with a simple message for my Dear readers.
We all commit mistake and it doesnt matter if it is a small or big mistakes, what matters is when we get up from our mistakes with lessons learned. One more thing, learn to focus on noticing other’s good deeds rather than delving on their mistakes, it can make a big change. See how you can transform the world by appreciating and thanking somebody with his or her simple act of kindness. Learn to give chances.

Remember,

Wound heals.
Though scars maybe visible it will not be enough to measure how much we learned from the way we are wounded.

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The Unchangeable — October 22, 2011

The Unchangeable

It is wisely said that the only thing we have the consistent power to change is ourselves. We are free to modify how we see the world, how we react to life’s situations, how we view and interact with other people. We can all have the freedom to change our principles, character, beliefs and how we see and do things. We do change with ease because the only person whom we have to deal is our own selves.

What if we are asked to change someone or somebody? How hard it is? Or is it even possible? At some moment we are face into such situations, where in we tend to change somebody for their betterment (that is what our parents usually do). They tend to mold us with a person who is not really us. They want to change us with a person which they want to see, whom they can accept and deal of easily. Therefore we say, “Be like this, Do like this, Think like this!”. We change them with our own hands(which we are incapable of doing) not knowing that we are evading their own identity.

Is it really possible that we change the unchangeable? Let’s say a person who grew up to be a gambler, can we really turn him into a good samaritan? He might change yes, but we dont take the credit for his change.

I strongly believed that it is when we set out to change “others” that we encounter frustrations and disappointments. I guess a word of encouragement at the right moment can work as magic. Negative criticisms tears down and overtime reinforces the same negative acts it attempts to correct. If we really want to help someone to change, the best thing we can do is to set a variety of dishes to that person in one table, invite him to partake as many foods we can offer, allowing him the prerogative to accept or reject, without any judgement. It is his own initiative,own enthusiasm and courage that will take him to change. Changing others totally never lies in others hands. It comes out naturally in ourselves. Anything less than this is courting tragedy.