To My First Love,
It’s been so many years, young age, young heart, and young romance. It’s been so many years, I could barely count them on my fingers but one thing is for sure I still haven’t forgotten about you. I wish you were reading She Writes, I wish you do. I wish you were browsing this page out of those millions. I actually don’t know how to write you anymore without bringing back the past, I know I can’t do that so let me ask for your permission. You were the kind of guy who used to impress me, talented, witty, artistic, snob but friendly (sort of). I still could not forget how we glanced at each other and how my heart beats fast every time you’re near. The first time you told me you love me and the first time we kissed. The picture of us figuring out how to hold hands while walking didn’t still fail to make me laugh and oh you’re free tutorial for me, may it be for assignments or some words of wisdom still lingers on my mind. I am so naive back then, I was young, I am afraid of the future, I am afraid that we might not last so I cut it off without giving any chances. I guess you’re happy right now, you might have been turn out to be a man, you might have achieved all of your dreams and I am definitely afraid of that day when we are about to cross each other’s roads again.
I really wanted to write this one, but I never had the chance or should I say I never had the courage. I guessed I have it now. How are you, How have you been? Are you married? Do you have kids? Did you pursue your dreams? I wonder why I am still crying about writing this one. I really wonder why. I guess I am just missing those days when I am your little princess and you used to be my ninja. I guess I am missing those dead end phone calls, those smiles and those art cards you that you gave me. Those were the good times. The good times that I wished I did not let to slipped, that I wish I kept so that today I won’t be wondering what could have happen If I did not let you go.
I want to tell you something. Something that I long kept as a secret. Do you remember the time that you last saw me? I was on my way catching a bus to my hometown and I was walking and you are about to go home and unexpectedly cross each other way? You told me you saw me, I told you I did not saw you but the truth is I saw you. I saw you and I think it was destiny’s call to make our path united but I did not take the chance, because of fear. Fear, it was two years since we broke up then. That picture of us was still on my mind and there are some times that I wish I took that opportunity, I wish I talked to you, I wish I took the chance.
I also wonder what happened to you the last time we had a communication. You were nice, you were sweet and I thought that we can try it all over again, but one day I woke up and you were gone. Totally gone. I can’t reach you anymore, anywhere. You might have decided to go away from me; maybe you realized that I am not really the type of girl you ever wanted. Maybe your young back then too, naive, unsure of what you feel. Maybe. And I understand that you all have the right to feel like that. I guess we are world different. You are somewhere that I could never be and I definitely don’t match the kind of girl you are looking for.
Wherever are you know, I hope you are reading this. It’s been seven years. There are a lot of changes, so many things had happened, I have been to relationships and I guess you have been too… but one thing remains and that I surely keep, it’s our “memories”. I don’t care if you read this when you’re forty (40) or when you’re on your fifties the thing is you must have read this. I am thankful that there was this day sometime ago that we shared a special moment with each other. You are my first love and I guess First love is something that can’t be forgotten. It will always be special. It will always remain. I am definitely sure that if you have your family now, a wife or a girlfriend- she is so lucky. She really is, because you’re a great guy.
I wish you all the happiness and success after all these was the reason why we let go of each other.
-Sigh- I hope for the last time perhaps this could make you smile.
From your heaven sent Friend,