There comes a point in my life that I somehow wanted to end. It is the thing that I let people decide for me.. “Do this, Do that”,” This is rigght, This is wrong”. I thought people around me know what is the best for me, that they wont let me down.I trusted them enough that I let them rule my life, I’ve become so dependent. Until comes a day that I get tired of it.
I never know myself anymore, I never knew what I wanted. What I want. All I know is what other people want me to become. I lose myself worth. I lose my confidence. What I gained is Fear. Fear of having my own choice. I reached the point that I should decide , yet I doubted myself. I’t because Ive become so dependent to other people dictating me. I doubted my decisions, I dont know if it willbring out the best in me or not.I cant trust myself already cause Ived already given my trust to other people yet they were not around or I think I was going the wrong way when I follow their decisions. It’s also the thought that sometimes I sacrifice my own happiness because of listening to them. It’s sad.
Realizing that trusting yourself more than others is very much worth it. In the first place, how can you trust others when you dont know how to trust yourself. We run our own life. We so what we want, We take opinions to others but in the end we should be following our own decisions. It helps us learn. It helps us to be wise in life. At the end of our journey in life, it’s ourself whom we can trust the most, not others, not our friends, not our family, It’s just us.
Perhaps, I should start living on my own decisions now. Perhaps this is the best time to start. If i stumble because of my wrong decisions at least I wont be blaming others. Im responsible for myself.. It’s not actually living independently, It is not that Im proud or Im big enough to handle myself now. It’s about becoming more me, It’s about giving responsibility to myself. It’s about me enjoying and experiencing how to live life.