8 months ago…

8 months ago.

It has been 8 months ago since I left She Writes empty. No updates, No everything. It’s 8 months of hiatus.

Today, I woke up feeling this spirit, feeling that urge, feeling that lust and the intensity I can’t resist- It whispers to my ears, Write, Write, Write. It goes on and on, till I submit myself sitting on my table and feeling how smooth my keyboard are with every stroke. The words just flow- It is not a forced one, I am not even being pressured to do so. I want it, I want this, I want to write today.

I think I finally have woken up again. Or maybe I feel like being myself again.

I am Blogging Again!

11/26/2014

Random Thoughts.

I have this strong Urge to WRITE.

Yes today, give me this moment please, these are just of the few days when I just want to speak my whole heart out. I just passed that interview, and yeah I am so happy about it, but why is it that a part of me seems really not to be happy? A part of me does not enjoy my success. This was what I wanted and ask right, why? Why part of me feels like this? Why?

Yeah that was my first question.

I still have something to ask my self. Why do I speak so complicated at times? Why can’t I just say yes and no straightforwardly? Why do I still need to go over hundreds of words before I could say just a two letter word? Why do I think so complicated? Some times I think that could it just be me who thinks like I do? Or there are other people as well who thinks even more unconventional than me?

Third, I just want to fixed my thoughts which were in total clutter. Part of me says do this and part of it says do that. Seems like I just can’t fit my thoughts altogether. Must have been that I think I am superman who can multitask. I also think I am a baby octopus who dreams of having her tentacles so I could do everything all at once.

May Post (Updating)

This was my 40th attempt to write. It has been months, days and weeks since I could not write no matter what I do. I don’t know maybe because I’m just way to busy or too occupied at work, or maybe because I don’t always have net connection at home or maybe that I just lose my interest in writing, or maybe because I just run out of ideas to share with you.

I can’t write, I don’t want to write, I just want to stop writing.

I am full of excuses I guess, trying to convince myself it was not my fault that is why this blog is not updated. As much as possible, I don’t want to write much about my personal life, but I guess there is nothing much more interesting to me than my own personal life, and there is no more easier story to write rather than my own story. Who would care anyway? Who would care f I write my experiences here? Who would be interested? Who would be my site visitor?

I think I have lose the real essence of my blogging because I am becoming too much of a dreamer. I am aiming so high which is way behind my reach. I was expecting and setting high standards to my self but I am forgetting the passion that I should be giving all through out this blog. This is just ain’t me.

Rush Hour

The clock hits 8:15 as I bid goodbye to sis. I usually left our house round 8 exactly but today I didnt manage to. I was hoping that a bus will come early so I could have an express ride but to no avail. Got no choice but take the jeepney. I was kinda glad that the jeepney didnt took long time to do stop overs fetching passengers, that means there will be less possibilities of being late. I hate it when it’s rush hour, when you have to meet a timeline. However, I love the thrill. The extreme emotion that flows within our veins knowing that we got limited time.

I believe that in life, we always have to live in rush hours. We never know when will be our deadline here, so we should never postpone what it is that we can do today. Ive read a lot of articles and books that have the same meaning as to live like we are dying. Coz we never know. Life is short. You maybe strong and healthy now, tomorrow you’ll get sick. You never know that by the time you sleep, you may never be able to wake up again. You will never know when youll get caught in an accident and die. We will never know when our time is up.

It’s just like saying, do what you think is needed to be done at the present. Live life to its fullest. Live the rush hour in fulfillness with god’s glory. So that when our time is up, we will be having no regrets, there will be no mission unaccomplished, only sense of fulfillment.

This post, starting today, applies to me as well. To live in the rush hour of life. I believe that I have spent unwisely used time. I had shoo away many opportunities of fulfilling my life’s purpose, and I have less time remaining to do it. This is what the rush hour truely means.

My time starts today, whatabout yours?